He also prefers champagne to Tesco’s budget lemonade. It’s shocking.
27/06/2013
Picture analysts say they have unearthed compelling evidence that the chancellor of the exchequer might actually be a bit posh, and not a cheeky Eastenders-type character, as was previously assumed to be the case.
George Gideon Oliver Osborne, heir apparent to the Osborne baronetcy, posted an image of himself eating a burger on Twitter, the night before his Spending Review speech.
This received a storm of frenzied acclamation, with 98% of the UK populace believing the picture showed that he’s ‘Definitely One of Us’.
But forensic photography experts have discovered from highly technical analysis of the image that the burger Osborne was eating was from a posh restaurant chain, rather than McDonalds or some shit like that.
Unemployed burger expert, Tim Twanks said “The St Paul’s and Oxford-educated chancellor, whose net worth is about £4m, is not the ‘cockney-sparrer’ we thought at all. That, my friends, is a Byron burger he’s eating!
“He’s not even got ketchup on it, look! It’s a vintage port and juniper jus, if ever I saw one. What a dead bloody giveaway.”
A spokesperson for the treasury said “Mr Osborne gave Danny Alexander a twenty, and told him to run out for tiffins. Danny came back with the Byron burger.
“It was edible and from a place that makes food, rather than from McDonalds, which is a franchised gateway to hell where they pour animal slurry into bread and make you eat it.
“What do you want me to say?”
